Monday, November 12, 2007

Sigh

I'm feeling pretty depressed today. It's probably a mixture of the lupron, PMS, and the fact that I hate my job. But I'm slowly working out the second career/exit strategy, and although many aspects of it seem to be a very long way off, at least it gives me something to cling to when everything else is crap. As an example of how crap it is at work, we've had 5 people quit our office in the past two weeks, and probably more to come. Morale is low. And in the midst of all this, I really need to have a good, solid, and highly productive week so that I can take off for two week's vacation for the IVF cycle without worrying. I'm not quite sure how to pull that off, but I suspect that there'll be a fair amount of working late this week.

I had a great weekend - got my two craniosacral therapy sessions in, so I feel that I'm on my way to clearing those karmic blockages. But then of course I often worry that if this doesn't work this time I'll kind of look like a fool for thinking that karmic blockages were the answer. However, when have I not looked like a fool, so why worry on that score now? It can only help to do some of this work, and if it doesn't help enough, at least I tried. "At least I tried" seems to be somewhat of a motto these days.

The only slight downside to the weekend was a phone conversation with my dad, who seems to think that the NY doctors are just out to take my money without telling me that it's got no hope of working (based on some coverage last year of unscrupulous fertility doctors in the UK, which has stuck in my dad's mind) and that I really should be finding a husband. Well, yeah, but as we've discussed several times, the pickings are pretty slim around here and if I'm having this much trouble getting pregnant now, what makes him think that it'll automatically work in a year or so when I miraculously find that husband? So that was slightly annoying, but oh well. He did at least wish me luck.

I kind of got my thyroid result back, but not really. I got left a voicemail that my TSH was normal, but my T3 was a bit low, so if I wanted to get a copy to discuss with my internist, then to call them back and they'd send a copy. I mean, does that mean I should discuss it with my internist, or not? It sounds entirely optional, really, but I know that even though my TSH may be normal, last time it was 2.5, which is a tad high for TTC, and that a low T3 also points to hypothyroidism. So on balance, I may have an issue. However, I decided that as it's too late to get an appointment with an internist before the IVF cycle, I'm just going to wing it, and hope that if Big Clinic was really worried, they would have used much stronger wording. Hopefully it's not out of whack enough to prevent the cycle from working, and I can always have it checked out when I get back from NY in case it would interfere with anything.

The lupron is going well, by the way. No more forgetfulness on the shots, thankfully. And the headache has been a coming and going type of thing, so I'm thankful that it hasn't been a constant companion. I'm just waiting for my period to arrive so that I can get the show on the road. And as typical with my body, it's nowhere in sight. It's 15DPO today, and nada. Still, I'm beginning to think that if I can delay that flight to NY by a day or two, it'll help with the stress of getting everything done, so maybe it's a good thing.

4 comments:

Yodasmistress said...

That's kinda frustrating that they would leave such a cryptic message... why do they do that?

Lisa said...

I'm an SMC in Mass. and I love your blog. I also go to the June Bug Babe Blog because I think the pictures are adorable. Do you know how I can contact the blog author to allow access to the site. Thanks Lisa

calliope said...

I hate that your work sitch is so sucking your soul.

& I would get a copy of your T3 stuff and just fax it to your regular dock for review. I wouldn't stress too much about it- at least not now!

Big Clinic will so let you know if it makes a wrinkle.

How soon before you travel again???

Anonymous said...

S, my dad voiced the same concerns to me about my RE just wanting money from me, did I really even have a chance, bla bla bla...
Well, he's singing a different tune now, and yours will too.
:)
Hang in there, have faith.
xo
Margie