Friday, August 31, 2007

Yes? No? Now? Later?

The acu was no help in my decision making. At all. And it didn't help that he is so damn gorgeous and lovely and just plain nice that I want to be having his babies instead of the sperm donor's babies. Which makes me tempted to delay the IVF until November just so I can see if I have any chance of corrupting him before then. But it does make it hard to say "hey, EWCM!" when I know that that'll just cause me to blush horribly thinking what use I'd rather be making of my EWCM with him. I am bad, I am bad, I am bad to be thinking such thoughts. Although I do think he's single so it's not like I would really be corrupting him. Just a little. Maybe. I get the impression that he lives this pure buddhist lifestyle and is probably above all those things. Especially with someone who is a tad bit too chunky these days. He'd probably rather be with a skinny yogini or something.

But anyway, he says my pulses are responding well to treatment so he thinks October would be fine. Or November. And I don't think he'd have had any suggestions on the protocol so in the end I didn't ask what he thought about that. He's not all that up on IVF protocols, not being a fertility expert and all.

So I still haven't called to schedule anything and I'm still undecided. I thought I'd be gung-ho to do the next IVF, especially after my freaky good mood following the chemical. I'm even more happy about doing long lupron after mulling it some more. But strangely incapable of taking any action or making any real decision to go forward.


singletracey said...

I just found your blog and thought I would say how much I admire your strength.. I will be keeping tabs on you.

calliope said...

have you tried a coin toss? Heads October...

& seriously- Mr. Hawt Acu would be lucky to have you. :)


serenity said...

I LOVE that you have a crush on your acupuncturist... not bad to be thinking those thoughts at ALL! Especially if he's hawt - you go girl! :)

As for the cycle - do what makes you happy in the end, ok? That's all that matters. If you're ok with waiting, then there's nothing wrong with waiting.

Just my opinion though.


Kami said...

Don't be so sure Mr. Acu is all pure and stuff. I thought the same thing about my acu until I got to know her better. I say make your move! ;)

I am sure you will figure out when to do what. Sometimes it just takes a little time to let your mind sort things out.

Rachel said...

Can you drop some hints on Mr. Hot Acu-man? Try to get some feedback?

Of course you're undecided. These cycles are so exhausting. It's hard to do them all in a row. If you don't feel gung-ho, I would wait until you feel you are absolutely ready. Though, as someone who went one after the other, I do understand the need to move forward swiftly.

Sara said...

Mr. Acu sounds delicious. I'm glad that things are working out in that realm, and if he ends up providing you with more than just health care, then hey, bonus!