Clearing the Passages

As ever in my "seize the bull by the horns" moments, I am rushing forwards with plans to make the next IVF cycle a success.

The diet is going relatively well so far, although it isn't showing great results on the scale yet (yes, I was going to try to limit myself to a once a wek weigh-in, but I had to peek). But, I'm reducing my sugar consumption, finishing off the last of the Lean Cuisine lunch stash, and from next week should be entirely on healthy food.

I had an acupuncture appointment last night, and have got back on TCM herbs. So, back to making nasty mud-like tea morning and evening for the next 3 months. Sigh. It ain't pleasant, but it just has to be done. They were very nice about my IVF failure, much better than the last acu guy I ditched who didn't even tell me he was sorry when my first cycle failed.

But, more importantly, I sent off a questionnaire form yesterday to Clear Passage Therapies to see if they think they can help me out. They do an intensive deep tissue massage therapy to break up pelvic adhesions and hopefully increase fertility. It is outrageously expensive, but there's a (slim) chance that insurance will pay as it will be coded for pain, but then again, it's cheaper than another IVF cycle. I had adhesions diagnosed in my laparoscopic surgery last October, and I have a suspicion that they're back again. Or that I have more, this time caused by the surgery. Also, as I have a very retroverted uterus, and malpositioned ovaries, I do often wonder if there's enough blood flow getting to the right places. And there's a little matter of abdominal pain, which I get every month. So, I'm checking this out. I do realize that it might all be bogus, but I got good reports of them from someone who's had the therapy (thanks Nell!) and hope is a VERY precious commodity as you're going in to your third or fourth IVF. So if I have to do this to have hope, then do it I will.

Still haven't really cried properly over the negative beta, so I feel like I'm kind of in limbo waiting for the grieving to happen. I wonder if this is because I haven't got my period yet (yes, it's 18DPO and no sign of the old hag yet). Sometimes we need that visual confirmation of what the doctor tells us. Or maybe it could be because I haven't got shitfaced yet, which usually allows me to overcome that British stiff upper lip and general horror of sobbing uncontrollably. But have no fear, blogosphere, I have plans to get toasty on Saturday night, as I've been invited to a friend's house that is within staggering distance of my house, and she has enormous bucket-sized red wine glasses, a huge wine collection and loves to cook gourmet food. She's also very generous with the pouring! The only downside is that she has a large German Shepherd, and her mother's even larger German Shepherd will also be there. They both scare me, but hopefully they'll be on their best behavior and won't take any chunks out of my leg or anything similar.