Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hair styling

Yesterday, as I was posting on a fertility/TTC website which shall remain nameless, but which may or may not have the initials of FF, I got involved in a conversation about shaving "down there" for IVF egg retrieval. In particular, the original poster wanted to know if she'd wake up shaved, as often happens in laparoscopic surgery. I posted and said nah, no shaving, you'll be fine, they're not doing anything external so there's no need for them to do anything like that. Then a couple of posts down, a normally sensible poster said, and I quote "No you wont wake up with a Brazillain! As long as you are tidy down there, your doctor will appreciate it and go about his business. It is no different than a PAP or IUI.... Im sure he wants to work in a clean environment, but there arent any incisions to the outside of your body (only aspirations are to the inside of your vaginal wall)... so you will be fine!"

I nearly spat my peppermint tea all over my computer monitor. I mean, I had visions of the doctor taking a look at the fine shaving handiwork, and giving an appreciative nod before going about the serious egg collecting business. I mean, c'mon girls, these are gynecologists. What's more, they're reproductive endocrinologists. They look at womens' unmentionables all freaking day long. I am sure they've seen waaaay more than they care to remember, and probably don't give a rat's ass if you're shaven or unshaven. You're there spread eagled on the IVF table, with 5 or 6 other people in the room, everything other than the necessary area is covered in blue cloth, you're under anesthetic so the doctor doesn't want to waste any time and women are worried about whether the doctor is going to appraise their hair styling abilities. Now, they might remember your snatch if you had two vaginas, for example. Or they'd probably be appreciative if you didn't poot on them, but then I expect that during my laparoscopic surgery I farted in my RE's face constantly so I'm sure they're used to it. They do pump gas into your abdomen after all! I'm sure they appreciate the fact that you've had a shower that morning, but then they expect and rely on you coming in to surgery having applied a modicum of soap to the aforementioned area. But having to "tidy up" for the IVF doctor? Puh-lease.

Maybe I'm being all European and/or crunchy granola, both of which I admit to being. Frankly, I think they're lucky that I shave my legs. And I'm sorry if you're the original poster and now you think I'm making fun of you. Well, OK, I am. But I think that's going to become my new motto: "As long as you are tidy down there, your doctor will appreciate it and go about his business. " Maybe I should ask my doc what type of hairstyle he appreciates more so I can arrange an appropriate waxing appointment before my next IVF cycle.


Thalia said...

I couldn't agree more. I think it's hysterical that anyone thinks the doctors care about whether we've shaved or not. It's so much more about our crappy attitudes to what it's like to have hair than it is about what they think!

Calliope said...

ha ha ha!
I saw this thread & was shocked as well. I think if I have an RE that is interested in my down there do then I have the wrong doctor.

(um, said the girl who had a blue ass at her last IUI)