Friday, June 23, 2006

Damn it all

Calliope is not pregnant and I have to give up caffeine again. K. is sitting in her office smugly still pregnant despite all my dire warnings about taking it easy, and will no doubt be all "I told you I was fine" all day. Damn it all. I can tell its going to be a cruddy day again.

I went to the acupuncturist last night, and we had one of our review sessions. Where she basically tutted yet again about me doing IVF, not giving her enough time to "fix" me, and horror of horrors, being on BCP for six weeks so she has no way of monitoring how things are improving because I won't be having a period. Hey ho. I'm not changing track now. So, she can whine all she wants and I'm not going to budge. But we discussed all my latest symptoms, the biggest one of which is that I seem to be in permanent PMS-mode since starting the BCPs because I'm so freakin' irritable all the time. But she got it out of me that I'd taken up drinking coffee again. And diet coke. And iced Chai's from Starbucks. Well, you know, I'm on BCPs. I figure it's my time to be bad before I have to be super good as I get close to starting the shots for IVF. Of course, the acu basically blamed all my new issues on the caffeine, so now I have to quit the damn caffeine again just so we can see if it's that, or a new underlying issue, or a hormone issue from the BCPs. How's that supposed to help a girl's irritability problem if she can't even have a nice cup of coffee in reward for dealing with a world full of idiots?

Blah. So I had two huge glasses of red wine last night in order to steel myself for my day of no caffeine. Um, yah, I suppose I'll have mentioned somewhere previously that my vow never to drink again lasted about as long as all my other no-drinking vows? Ahem. Anyway, great thinking Sarah, because of course, the first thing I want when I wake up after drinking booze Gimme gimme gimme. Need to remove the tongue fuzz, and wake up some. Nevertheless, I am standing firm. I have compromised with one cup of decaf. And that shall be it. No more! I will be the Queen of restraint today. Well, excluding alcohol, that is, because you don't expect me to leave an opened bottle of red alone on a Friday night, do you?


namaste said...

I bow to you oh Queen of Restraint and humbly offer up the alternating viewpoint that the universe created caffeine and wine in order for us humble humans to enjoy them. Obviously your acu has never had a really good glass of wine. ;)

Good luck with your vows and I support you if you decide to take a break from them to reconsider. In fact, drink some in front of K. and rub it in...

Calliope said...

that is the thing about red wine- after opening the bottle one really must drink the whole thing just so that it doesn't go skunk.
That is EXACTLY why my drink of choice on my "why me" day was (is!) a large bottle of red.

But I apploud you in your restraints. I've done so well on decaf that I think I will stay decaf on my break month. I'm also going to try to remove some things from my diet. HA HA HA

So what I am trying to say is that we can be cranky pants together. Hell - we may even be cycle buddies. I need to confer some math with you to check.

& thanks for everything. you know.