Why is it...

...that my life seems to explode into craziness the minute I start stims? So much for remaining calm and zen and doing that famous "just relax" crap. Now, OK, part of the craziness is I'm sure due to having to be out of town for my cycle, and the extra preparation and planning that that involves. But there always just seems to be random craziness on top.

Case in point - work. They fired two people on Monday, and another person quit. Yesterday I was asked if I could take on additional responsibilities, so I felt the need to tell the person that wanted to give me more stuff that I wanted to go part time. Which forced me to immediately go and reveal my plans to the big boss. Without my usual preparation of what I should say, or how I should argue things, and not knowing if it was even possible. And then the big boss told me he already knew all about my plans. I have a suspect in mind of who must have told him, which is annoying but I should never have told that person in the first place as I knew she could not be relied on for secrecy. However, she's supposed to be a friend, and would definitely have been offended if she hadn't known in advance. It's complicated. But really, the big boss could have had the class to put on an act that it was a surprise rather than just leer at me that "there are no secrets here". Ugh. The man's an ass. Anyway, at least I think the person who quit helped me out, because he was amenable to me working 3 days a week, though has to clear it with the bigger bosses. And we have to figure out the whole benefits/office thing. As I would be working less than 30 hours a week, apparently I no longer qualify for an office, health insurance or an administrative assistant. Not that the office matters, as so many people have left that there are plenty of empty ones so the big boss said I can just hang out where I am until the place fills up again, but I will need to clear my personal crap out of it so that it can be a guest office on days I am not in. And not that the admin assistant matters either, because I share and never get any of their time anyway. But health insurance is a wrinkle, even though I knew it was probably on the cards. Hopefully they will let me stay in the group plan but let me pay the group rate - they must have other part timers working less than 30 hours. Anyway, I will shop around for an individual plan too. Haha, and you know that because getting pregnant would really be a problem right about now due to shopping for health insurance, that there's a part of me thinking that this is the one that will finally work. Of course, being as I'm doing CGH again I'm not actually doing the transfer this time, so I can get the insurance in place before doing that IF there's a normal embryo. Which is a really fucking big 'if' as we all know.

Oh, and I had an appointment at the community college yesterday, and the advisor told me I need to take 5 classes, and do the math placement test in addition to the English placement tests. Even though I am not doing any math, but apparently to get the general education credits I need it. Or something. I looked at a sample test and didn't have a freakin' clue. So I will be studying math while in Vegas so I can take the placement test when I get back. Joy joy joy.

So all in all it was a very stressful day. And of course one of my work buddies wanted to go out last night to discuss how much of a miracle it was that I didn't get fired, as he was convinced that that was on the cards for me, due to my previous slacking. So I did, and I had a beer even though I started stims and shouldn't have. But really, I have avoided alcohol like a good girl on every previous cycle and none of them have worked, so I have lost the will to be the perfect IVF patient. I just had one, and it was gooood. And needed, after the day I had.