Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Fone fun

Hehehe, I guess Local Clinic has realized just how complicated they made my instructions, as two different nurses have called me today asking if I have any questions about the instructions and whether they're clear or not. I have, I think, surprised them by just saying "yup, I'm fine, no questions - I'm a very good note taker, thanks". They seem somewhat incredulous that I can write out a long complicated list of which drug to take when without batting an eyelid, but I think they have forgotten the super fatness of my file and the fact that this is my seventh go-around at this sort of thing. You'd think they'd put a notation in the file telling them that if THEY have any questions, they should ask ME because I've probably been doing this stuff longer than they have.

I also had my "pre-op" call at which they asked all the usual pre-egg retrieval questions regarding anesthesia, my highest educational achievement, how I like to learn, whether I had any special religious or cultural needs, etc. I kid you not. I pointed out that whether or not I have a degree really has no bearing on a frozen embryo transfer, as they won't actually be doing any surgery on me. And nor should it have any bearing on the amount of anesthetic I receive or anything else to do with an actual egg retrieval. Which I. Am. Not. Doing. So it is just a complete waste of my time to ask me such questions.

At least this nurse laughed along with me at the ridiculousness of the questions, and said that they are required to ask them to keep up with the certification for their ambulatory surgery center, which apparently is what their IVF retrieval/transfer suite is rated as. I have had prior nurses take umbrage at me questioning why precisely they need to know what languages I speak other than English, as surely the point of the question is if I speak another language without also knowing English so that following directions would be difficult. Not whether I am competent at ordering lunch in Paris. I think if I have to go through this again I will throw Swahili in the mix, and ask for a Festivus rite to be performed over my uterus before we transfer any embryos back in there. You never know, that might be just the magic that is needed.

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