Sunday, February 17, 2008

5dp5dt

Thank you, thank you, for keeping hope alive for me.  I think it started to wear off on me yesterday afternoon.


I had to nap yesterday because I was sleepy, and the boobs started to have the merest lightest little pains (that you'd absolutely ignore if you weren't obsessed).  So that was enough to rekindle the flame of hope a little.

Then overnight the boob pain increased, I had a few weird pains in my ovary region as I rolled over in bed, and I had the most vivid intense dream.  About a magical bus ride.  In my old college town.  Well, starting in my old college town but going up into the hills nearby.  And going through a town full of cheese displays (to which I said, ahh, this must be Wensleydale), and a decorated tunnel, and snow and bubbling streams, and a town full of hiking stores with all their backpacks displayed on the sidewalks, and a kitschy 50's style Elvis memorial, and lots of lovely houses that I thought I could live in once I move back there, and a lake with whipped up waves because of the wind (but even in the dream I remarked to myself how the waves didn't look real but looked like a pathetic special effect from Godzilla), and then a town with trees full of blinking lights which were V-shaped and may have been mechanical fake cicadas.  All for a fare of only 75p.  Sadly no sex, so there was no happy ending OMG-I-must-be-pregnant type of finish, although by the time we saw the twinkly lighted trees I was flirting with a nice Indian guy who was also on the bus.  Except he burned my finger accidentally with his cigarette. Perhaps it could have turned good if loud people hadn't gone past my window at 6.49am and woken me up.  Sigh.

Anyway, that's enough to keep me going with a little bit of hope for another few hours.  Bizarre dreams have to be a sign, right?

And if I'm owning up to things, I should say that I went out and bought HPTs yesterday, and tested this morning.  Of course it is negative, but that's not actually bumming me out as 10dpo is pretty damn early.  And if I squint and hold it justso under the light of a thousand suns, I can imagine where a line could possibly be.  So there's a part of me that thinks just maybe that is good enough for 10dpo and could possibly lead to something actually visible tomorrow.  No, you're not getting a photo, because it would be pure lily white and you'd all think I was nuts. Because of course after that dream I posted about none of you have already spotted the depths of my insanity, so therefore I must maintain the illusion.

ETA: OK, maybe a photo, as it dried a little darker once I took the case apart.  This is from 1.5 hrs after being peed on, so it's way outside the time limit.

DSCF0233

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can see something there. :)
God, I really, really, really hope this is it for you.
Very much looking forward to tomorrow's testing.
XO
-Margie

Care said...

I can see something too - without squinting very much either! I hope this means good news is coming. I've got fingers and toes crossed for you!

Anonymous said...

Dreams are always a great sign. I had dreams I was having a kitten all the time. Let us know!

Jenny (HeidN)

bleu said...

I just love that post, it is funny and fun and full of hope and I am so full of hope for you. I see the line as well.

Sending so much love your way.

Heather said...

The control line is on the right and the test line is on the left, correct? I totally see two lines!!!!

orodemniades said...

I see a very wee line, too.

singletracey said...

I see a line where a line should be! heehee.. I am hoping this is IT for you girl!!

katedaphne said...

That's a line, my dear. Today, you are the p-word! xo

Aimee said...

I see a line! :o) I hope this is the ONE!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

calliope said...

by jove I DO see something. I will admit that it is in the squinting phase, but only just.
MORE TESTING (please!)

& quietly squealing...ok, not so quietly.

Cindy said...

No squinting required! I see a line! Hoping for more of the same tomorrow! ;)

j said...

i'm crossing everything for you!
good luck and don't loose hope!
joanie

RJ said...

Definitely enough of a line to keep one's hope up for another day!!!
XOXOXOXO

Sara said...

This post made me laugh out loud, partly from optimistic happiness for you, and partly because you are hilarious. Good luck hon! I hope that this is it for you.

Amy said...

No squinting needed here! Then again I'm a IVF recycler too and I am a professional when it comes to seeing lines at this point...sadly never a line of my own but I sure have imagined some. LOL.

that being said there is clearly a line there!!!

suzzcq70 said...

I see that magic line! Please test tomorrow too . . . I can't wait to see it darker! I assume that is a very sensitive test too, right?

gabby said...

Oh I see one too and I could never get my chem pg (beta = 30) to really even show up on photos. Nice thing about FETs is you know it's all you and not the trigger. Can't wait to see what today's test looks like!!!!