Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Effing hell

I am delayed again. They want me to stay on lupron and estrogen patches at the dose I'm currently on for another week and go back for another ultrasound and bloodwork on the 5th. Which means that transfer won't be until the 10th at the earliest, I suppose. Presumably later because I was supposed to ramp up the dosage in advance of Saturday's appointment as that was supposed to be the fake ovulation date. So if I am on a level dosage and not ramping up, does that mean that I only start ramping up after Tuesday so hence my transfer won't be until like the 14th or 15th.

And that's if the bleeding stops. What if it doesn't? What if it just continues?

Fuck it. I just want to cry. Not that a delay is that huge in the grand scheme of things, but I am trying to organize a fresh cycle out of town if this frozen cycle doesn't work. And every delay cuts into how easy that is going to be to arrange. And I have to rely on friends for a ride to the clinic, so every time I delay it means not only that I have to rearrange my days off but my lovely chauffeur has to rearrange her schedule too. If she's available on the new day of transfer, that is - probably not now, and where am I going to find someone else?

Not to mention that I'm about to run out of lupron and have to reorder and I don't even know if the doctor's office had called in two prescriptions or just one, and trying to get a hold of a nurse is a freakin' nightmare. And I have to order it from some stupid pharmacy connected with the insurance, and they are NOT easy to deal with. AND being on lupron for this length of time is seriously driving me crazy.

Fuck. I hate the world.

ETA - Just told my boss I was changing the day off that I'd asked for, assuming that I'd need the 14th instead of the 7th, and he made a big deal that I was asking for Valentine's Day. Imagine that - the single girl asking for Valentine's Day off, must have a secret lover that we need to find information about. Did I mention that I hate the world?

There shall be wine tonight.


katedaphne said...

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry!!! I wish I could just scoot down there and drive you to your appointments myself -- and bring you some spare lupron while I'm in the neighborhood. Here are some hugs, anyway. They're free, and recyclable, use as many times as needed. xo

Kim said...

{{{Sarah}}} I'll have a glass of wine tonight too, in solidarity.

June Bug Momma said...

Argh!!! That really bites! I hate it when things do not go as planned, esp. since I am a big planner/organizer! Hang in there, hope it all works out for the best.

Rachel said...

So frustrating. I hate it when I feel like the world is out to get me. I'm feeling that way right now, too. I hope things work out smoothly.

calliope said...

totally pulling up a barstool next to you & Kim. This has GOT to be making you nuts.

Not to mention the 10 years that you have been on lupron. Holy hell you must be going mental...or at least have an awful headache.

hopefully this week will fly by and everything inside will sort out the way it needs to.


p.s. your boss? so lame.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I wish I could drive you. Grrrr. So sorry you're delayed. It just sucks.
Bring on the vino.

Jules said...

Lots of hugs Sarah -Still seeing how you are getting on. did you ever have ICSI? I can't remember... I had egg collection today but only 7..though that is better than last time! Not looking forward tomorrow and failure phone call. Julie xx

The Town Criers said...

That absolutely sucks. Any chance you're near D.C? I'd drive you.