Today is brought to you by the number 2

Today marks two anniversaries for me.

It's the second anniversary of my first RE visit. Oh, how well I remember the nerves, the newness of it all, thinking that I'd get pregnant as soon as any sperm was introduced into my body, thinking that the first IUI would do it, trying to plan when would be a good time to give birth. You know, all that. The heady, exciting, early days. The days when I used to be modest about dropping my knickers for the RE. And now it's been two years. I shouldn't really whine, and especially not as much as I did on Sunday, because many many women have been trying for much longer. But it's damn expensive using frozen sperm, and the RE has now siphoned off an awful lot of my cash and emotional energy, and that's pretty disheartening. If only I'd had a boyfriend or a husband for some free tries in between all the medical intervention.

It's also my paternal grandmother's birthday and the anniversary of her death. Yes, she managed to die on her birthday - how odd is that? But, she hadn't been happy or well for a long time before she died, so I think it probably was a happy birthday for her. So, happy birthday Nanna!

That was the year before the first RE visit. Shortly after the first RE visit, my other grandmother died, and I ended up doing the HSG that the RE wanted me to do prior to starting IUI's a few hours before I flew to the UK for her funeral. In retrospect, it probably wasn't exactly one of my better ideas to schedule the HSG and a transatlantic flight for the same day, particularly as I had to wear one of those industrial-sized hospital pads because I was bleeding so much from the tenaculum. And let's not even mention infection risks. Or what would have happened if my tubes had been blocked and I'd not been able to drive myself to the airport from the hospital. Because of course I planned it so that I went straight from one to the other, not even imagining there could be any problems. But hey, it worked out OK in the end, so that's all that matters really.

So, I guess November hasn't really been all that lucky for me in terms of family stuff. I really hope that this November breaks the run of back luck on that score, and that my grandmothers both smile down on me and help send my baby/ies to me this month. Three more days until lupron! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...