Fashion challenged

I have a confession to make. I find going to NY highly intimidating. Fashion-wise, that is. I imagine the streets to be full of Carrie Bradshaws wearing their Jimmy Choos and their Manolos, and being all immaculate and wonderful.

I am not immaculate and wonderful. I especially won't be in hot and humid July/August, during an IVF cycle where I can be expected to bloat up horribly. And that's after I already feel fat because of the weight I've gained so far in TTC. And I have to go to work in my employer's NY office. And I'll have a bruised arm/back of hand from the blood draws and probably from the IV for egg retrieval but it'll be hot so I'll want to wear short sleeves and will be self-concious. Of course I also imagine the office to be populated with swank NY professional types, who will be dressed to the nines every day in sharp suits.

So I already bought a new tote bag, following on from the trend (which I hope is still going on) for women to have giant handbags. I figured a giant bag would be perfect for schlepping drugs, water bottles, needles and other paraphenalia around. And maybe a paperback or two for the waiting room at Big Clinic. And then yesterday I went shopping for some new t-shirts and possibly a work top or two that I can wear to pretend that I am somewhat fashionable. I'm just going to say that I thank God for the current blousy styles that are practically maternity-like in shape. Not that I want to be reminded that I'm not in maternity clothing for real, but it's nice to have plenty of give room for the swollen belly. I tried on a few tight T's as well, and they looked just awful so I am giving those a miss.

I guess the suitcase is slowly getting packed, mentally at least. I am figuring out what I want to take with me and slowly figuring out some of the logistics. I'm still fucking scared, though, but what was that supposed new motto? Oh yeah, que sera sera...