A light trim

My "patient companion" book arrived yesterday from Clear Passage Therapies. They have sent me so much stuff over the last couple of weeks that I'm kind of drowning in information. I was contemplating not looking through the book. But, as I know that some of the work they do involves "internal" work, I was intriged by the "what to expect" sections in case it gave some hints as to what this actually involves. And it did.

But as I was browsing further there was a "preparing yourself before treatment" section. And there at the bottom of a page it said that for internal work, it is easier for the therapist and more comfortable for the patient if the patient's pubic hair is "lightly trimmed" before attending.

My first thought was "what the fucking fuck?" Ahem, not too eloquent I'll admit, but as a Friday night treat I'd had too much vino so the old synapses probably weren't firing as well as they could have. Anyway, I couldn't quite figure out what a light trim could possibly mean in relation to your pubic hair. Did they mean to take a bit of length off, or did they mean that I should trim the edges so to speak. In other words, was a Brazilian in my future? Eek. I don't think I'm quite ready for that. But then I figured that they must mean the length because if they've got a couple of fingers up your hoo-ha and they're pushing on your hip at the same time, you wouldn't want some hair to get caught and pulled. Ouch! But then, how much length? A light trim in relation to the hair on my head doesn't equal very much percentage of the length. Was I to apply the same rule? What if I got to the clinic and they said it wasn't trimmed enough? What if I completely butchered the job? What if my RE did a double-take if I turned up at my next appointment completely bald? Should I call the poor receptionist and demand that she explain how much pubic hair exactly did that mean I needed to remove? And why did I have to do one more annoying/degrading thing just to get knocked up?

But then I decided to stop being so stupid and just cut the effing stuff. I mean, how badly could I really misinterpret "lightly trimmed"? But, thinking that I could very well make a hatchet job of it, with uneven bits and bald spots, I figured that there was no time like the present and I may as well just get down to it right now because I've still got a couple of weeks before treatment so it could grow out a little and I could re-trim it if necessary. Kind of like topiary.

No, I didn't trim my pubic hair while drunk. Who do you think I am? Tsk tsk to you for even thinking it.

This morning before my shower I therefore sat down with a comb and a pair of scissors. Yes, a comb. And I set about performing a good trim. I'm rather proud of the job, even if I do say so myself. It doesn't even look uneven. Thanks to the comb. I might even keep it this way if I wasn't so damn lazy. But I have to say that this is one time where you guys wouldn't be getting a pic even if I did have a digital camera.