The quiet

The hush has turned into the quiet. The calm before the proverbial storm. Tomorrow I start my new schedule, and I'm nervous. It didn't help that I just watched 30 Days - the Morgan Spurlock series, and watched the one where he tries to live on minimum wage for 30 days. I, of course, will be on far more than minimum wage. I shouldn't be worrying about making ends meet. And yet I am. Cutting down to 3 days a week from 5 is a big drop in income, especially when there's a mortgage to pay and prices are rising everywhere.

In order to work enough hours to keep my health insurance, I have to do three 12-hour days. Frankly, my brain gets fried after 8 these days as my job is brain intensive and boring at the same time. I can do the occasional 12-hour day, and used to do them quite a lot in the past - until they made me sick, that is. These days, I am fairly useless the day after a 12-hour shift. But that is what I'll have to do. Hopefully only having to do them on Monday, Wednesday and Friday will be OK. Hopefully. I worry that I am stressing myself out over the health insurance business, and that I have backed myself into an unsustainable corner in order to keep coverage through work. Actually, this semester should be fairly "easy" once I am in the swing of things, but once I change schedule in January and have to go to college on Saturdays and on Wednesday nights (in addition to Tuesday and Thursday), I am not sure how I'm going to manage.

But! I will do it. I hope I will be energized by the change, and that it will seem easy.

I foolishly wasted a large sum of money yesterday on a new iPod. It was my treat to myself with my last full-time paycheck. I got the 8GB nano - I've been limping along with an old 1GB nano, but that only takes a small percentage of the songs in my iTunes and it was bugging me. And, you know, being a college kid now, and all, I have an image to keep up! Har har. I also splurged on some new running gear. I am bad. I should not be splurging on anything right now. Oh well. I have some savings in reserve, so I know I can meet the credit card bill with that should I have to, and the money situation should ease after the beginning of October, because I will stop paying my flex spending account money for the IVFs, so that's a big chunk of change I can use to mop up any shortfall. At least until such time as I have to cut my hours at work, which hopefully won't be until January 2010 when I start my second year at acu school.

Sorry, this is just droning drivel and rambling. Here I am, Sunday night, nervous. I'd normally be lolling about, drinking wine and watching a movie, wishing that the weekend wasn't over. But I have been cleaning the kitchen and generally being fidgety, trying to think of things I can do now, knowing that I won't have time to do anything much during the week.

Oh, and the Crinone experiment has been a miserable failure. Still nothing. After those bad cramps on Wednesday, I thought for sure Aunt Flo was on her way, but I guess not. I do have another 7 Crinones left, but I'm not sure if it's even worth trying again, or what to do. I may have a couple of BCP somewhere that I could perhaps combine with the Crinone, but what if it was about to start and then I just extend it unnecessarily? Bah. I think today is day 61 of this cycle. I must have a cyst or something.

ETA: Monday morning at 9am, and cycle day 1 arrives. Finally! On day 62. A week after stopping the Crinone.