Sunday, August 24, 2008

The quiet

The hush has turned into the quiet. The calm before the proverbial storm. Tomorrow I start my new schedule, and I'm nervous. It didn't help that I just watched 30 Days - the Morgan Spurlock series, and watched the one where he tries to live on minimum wage for 30 days. I, of course, will be on far more than minimum wage. I shouldn't be worrying about making ends meet. And yet I am. Cutting down to 3 days a week from 5 is a big drop in income, especially when there's a mortgage to pay and prices are rising everywhere.

In order to work enough hours to keep my health insurance, I have to do three 12-hour days. Frankly, my brain gets fried after 8 these days as my job is brain intensive and boring at the same time. I can do the occasional 12-hour day, and used to do them quite a lot in the past - until they made me sick, that is. These days, I am fairly useless the day after a 12-hour shift. But that is what I'll have to do. Hopefully only having to do them on Monday, Wednesday and Friday will be OK. Hopefully. I worry that I am stressing myself out over the health insurance business, and that I have backed myself into an unsustainable corner in order to keep coverage through work. Actually, this semester should be fairly "easy" once I am in the swing of things, but once I change schedule in January and have to go to college on Saturdays and on Wednesday nights (in addition to Tuesday and Thursday), I am not sure how I'm going to manage.

But! I will do it. I hope I will be energized by the change, and that it will seem easy.

I foolishly wasted a large sum of money yesterday on a new iPod. It was my treat to myself with my last full-time paycheck. I got the 8GB nano - I've been limping along with an old 1GB nano, but that only takes a small percentage of the songs in my iTunes and it was bugging me. And, you know, being a college kid now, and all, I have an image to keep up! Har har. I also splurged on some new running gear. I am bad. I should not be splurging on anything right now. Oh well. I have some savings in reserve, so I know I can meet the credit card bill with that should I have to, and the money situation should ease after the beginning of October, because I will stop paying my flex spending account money for the IVFs, so that's a big chunk of change I can use to mop up any shortfall. At least until such time as I have to cut my hours at work, which hopefully won't be until January 2010 when I start my second year at acu school.

Sorry, this is just droning drivel and rambling. Here I am, Sunday night, nervous. I'd normally be lolling about, drinking wine and watching a movie, wishing that the weekend wasn't over. But I have been cleaning the kitchen and generally being fidgety, trying to think of things I can do now, knowing that I won't have time to do anything much during the week.

Oh, and the Crinone experiment has been a miserable failure. Still nothing. After those bad cramps on Wednesday, I thought for sure Aunt Flo was on her way, but I guess not. I do have another 7 Crinones left, but I'm not sure if it's even worth trying again, or what to do. I may have a couple of BCP somewhere that I could perhaps combine with the Crinone, but what if it was about to start and then I just extend it unnecessarily? Bah. I think today is day 61 of this cycle. I must have a cyst or something.
ETA: Monday morning at 9am, and cycle day 1 arrives. Finally! On day 62. A week after stopping the Crinone.


calliope said...

that sucks hugely about the cd 61 insanity. ugh!!

But this other stuff? This new chapter stuff? It is SO exciting! I can not begin to tell you how cool and amazing you are for totally owning your life and changing your course. It is inspiring and wonderful to watch.

Can not wait to hear how your first week goes. Will be thinking of you!!!

bleu said...

Yay for finally starting, sheesh.

Good luck with your first week. Congrats and enjoy!! Remember when you start in Jan the subject matter will change and get way more interesting to you!!!