Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Waiting, waiting

OK, you convinced me, I'll stay on the BCP continuously. The only reason that I'm worried is that for one cycle I was on them for 6 weeks, and had a much lower response (5 eggs) than the prior cycle (14 eggs) even though the protocol was the same. As the only difference had been double the length of time on BCP, I always blamed the BCP. Hence my worries about oversuppression. Although I was taking DHEA thinking it would give me like 20 eggs, so maybe that was just slowly damaging everything after the first initial success of getting 14 eggs after a cancellation. But going on and going off BCP probably will mess my system up worse than staying on for 4 weeks. And besides, who wants to be bleeding that often? But I will just hope for the best.

Oh, if only I could just blithely assume that I will be doing a transfer and not worry about my ovaries being oversuppressed! How nice that would be. But that would require removing about 3 years of infertility hell, and we all know that that can never be erased! God, I find myself becoming more and more anxious about the embryos. I couldn't sleep last night worrying and hoping I'd have 2 normals. Yes, lets face it, I've already ratcheted up my hopes beyond 1 normal to wanting 2. I can't stop myself! I keep thinking I'd have a much better chance of this working if I had 2 normals to transfer. But then also, what if I transfer 2 normals and it STILL doesn't work? I think the depression might just tip me over the edge at that point, although I guess CGH will have done its job in identifying an implantation issue.

I keep hoping maybe the CGH lab isn't moving and my testing will proceed without any moving delays. But even though it is a "separate" lab from LV Clinic, it is owned by them, and is in the same building. So I assume that they will be moving right along with LV Clinic, and I won't find out about the embryos for a while yet.

Sigh. Not so good at waiting.

2 comments:

sarah said...

ARgh. I too am over supressed by BCPs--pain in the butt. THe scheduling issues are uber frustrating.

Anonymous said...

I think your concerns of oversupressing are valid. You shousl really go ovet this with your doctor, and maybe delay moving forward if you have to do a fresh cycle with 6 weeks on BCOP.