Saturday, April 12, 2008

Message from cloud 8

Thanks guys! I still can't quite believe it myself. Five blasts in the freezer! It's more than I ever thought possible. Even if I'd have gotten 10 embryos I think I still never would have imagined 5 of them making it to the freezer, so to have 5 out of 5 is amazing. I am in a happy fog of...happiness.

But don't go getting all cocky on my behalf, now, and start thinking I might have 3 or 4 good ones. It's still quite likely that none are chromosomally normal, especially with my history. That's why we're doing the CGH after all, to get answers once and for all on my embryos. However, the good news has definitely increased my hope that I'll have one good one. And enabled me to have a little spark of hope for two. Not that I think two is necessarily achievable, but you know, one likes to have wild dreams every now and then. Can you imagine? Two normals? I might actually have a chance of....shhhhh....getting pregnant!

It seems like the most recent CGH results have come out in 2 and a half weeks (thanks Staci and Charlene!) so hopefully it won't be as long of a wait as they are saying. But, whatever, I can wait it out. I wonder if I'll be able to transfer in May if that's the case? I'll have to email the nurse about that. I could go to Vegas in May for an FET, because it'd only take 2 or 3 days presumably, and I can lie to my boss and say I'm going to Orlando to see friends over from England or something, but I don't think I can make it in May for a fresh cycle, because I don't think I can take so much time off work that quickly. So I guess I could start BCP as soon as the crimson tide shows up in preparation for either cycle, hoping for a May transfer, but I'd have to stop them again if there were no normals. I wonder if that would mess things up.

Talking of the old hag, I am not on any progesterone so I thought she'd be here by now. I guess I bought in to the theory that IVF damages the corpus lutea so much that they can't produce progesterone. I got one shot of progesterone right after ER and that was that, so I guess I must be producing enough progesterone on my own to sustain my usual luteal phase. The nurses made a big fuss of wanting to give me the progesterone while I was still coming around from the anesthesia so I wouldn't feel it, and then they couldn't for some reason - I guess they got busy and I woke up pretty fast. So then they were all apologetic about having to give it to me when I was...gasp...awake! I was like, please, I've given it to myself six bazillion times, I really don't mind.

And, I gotta say, I am quite liking this whole "no transfer" thing. I feel like I've already recovered from the IVF drugs and like I'm totally normal again. In fact, I was pretty much normal by Sunday or Monday. It's so nice not to have all the continuing side effects and stress post-transfer, trying to keep up being perfect and thinking positively so the embryos will implant, and all that jazz. It's nice to just focus on me, and trying to get healthy again, but being able to allow myself a cup of coffee or glass of wine at the same time.

Anyway, have a great weekend, everyone! Guess what I'm doing this weekend? That I faithfully promised to do a month ago? Yup, my taxes. Ya boo sucks. Somehow adding up those medical expenses is not something I'm looking forward to. I wonder why?!


Amy said...

Congratulations on all 5 making it to freeze! I can't wait till you get your CGH results!!

Anonymous said...

Sarah, again, I'm so happy for you to get 5 embies to freeze. I'm really loking forward to hearing good news from your CGH testing, at least on a few of them.

Tricia said...

Sarah you are a legend!! 5 snowbabies is just wonderful!
xxx tricia