My joy thing

I'm fairly sick of reading myself whining, so I thought I would share with you all something that makes me happy.

It's a simple thing. A very simple thing. A cup of tea.

At my darkest hour during this infertility crap, yes, I considered suicide. I just didn't see the point to life if I couldn't be a mother. There didn't seem to be any worth in living a half-life. In not contributing to society in the way that I had always imagined. I just did not want to continue on. But I didn't do it, because that is not me. I could never ever cause that sort of pain to my family. And besides, I've been through other tough times before, and looking back, can't even remember what I was so down about. So I knew I would get through it somehow.

At the same time, a friend of mine was going through a happy phase. Which is weird, because I can usually count on him for a good hate session, especially over work. But there he was, all cheery, and I had a face as long as a horse's. So he kept on at me to tell him something that was good in my life, something I was grateful for, something I was happy with. And I just...couldn't. But, being as he was being all optimistic and in my face, he didn't accept no for an answer.

And eventually, I said that I'd found this tea that I really enjoy. It's an organic loose-leaf tea, so you have to spoon the leaves into the pot or brewing basket, and you get this wonderful smoky, oakey aroma. And then waiting for it to brew, and then drinking it just is a wonderful experience. And it was apparently one of the teas that was thrown in Boston Harbor during the Boston Tea Party which tickles my funny bone for some reason. You know, English person in America, still drinking the same old tea. So, I was happy about my tea. Hooray for Bohea!

That was it, that was all I was grateful for that day. But hey, it was a start, and it eventually enabled me to think of a few other things I was grateful for. And that helped to bring me out of my slump.

But now, every time I make my special tea, like today, it brings a big smile to my face, remembering that conversation and remembering that it is my happy tea. And that makes me happy all over again.