Wednesday, May 28, 2008


I have had blinding headaches for the last day and a half. Sigh. Tylenol is my friend, but it only takes the edge off for a few hours. I started the estrogen shots yesterday, and I was hoping that would help with the headaches, but no such luck yet.


I want to be clear in case yesterday's post came off in any way as self-congratulatory and wishing ill on my cousins, I am very sad for them that their marriages ended. I don't wish them to have bad lives at all. But it is helpful to me to realize that everybody has crap going on. Just wanted to make that clear because I don't think it came through.


Kate asked about school bags. No, I haven't picked one yet. I am quite taken with this one because it can switch between being a backpack and a messenger bag but don't think it is quite right. Partly because it is eye-poppingly expensive, and partly because they don't have any cute colors right now. Some new colors are supposed to be coming out in mid-summer, so I will see what they have then. And in the meantime, keep looking for something less expensive. They do have a cheaper version that is not eco-friendly, but I would rather buy something that is at least a tiny bit environmentally concious.


The weight is dropping off me at the moment. Yay for PMS water retention! Or at least, yay for it when it ends. I am now down 11.5 pounds since the last ER so I have a real chance I think of actually being 10 down on the next ER day. I know the weight loss will stall again soon, as it always does, but I'm pretty happy at the moment.


katedaphne said...

I didn't think your post came off as wishing anyone ill. It IS helpful to know everyone has crap in their lives. It puts things in perspective for us.

Good luck bag shopping. And hopefully those lupron headaches will ease off soon. These IVF meds are so hard on us!

bleu said...

Yuck for headache.

Pish posh for the cousin thing, we all got it.

Eco bags, I see tons advertised in Utne Reader and Ode Magazing.

WAHOOOO for the weight loss.

calliope said...

insanely amazing about the weight loss. SO proud of you!

As for the bag- my first thought was that if things ever got too bad you could always roll it up & smoke it :)

Anonymous said...

Hey girl, first time I just happened upon your blog. I haven't read very much of it at all yet but I will.

I was drawn to the money topic as IVF will drain the hell out of you - perhaps more than a child itself. Argh!

Anyhoo, forgive me if you've covered this already (and you may have but again, haven't read all the entries) but have you at least considered embryo donation? I ask this the day after I received my Lupron supply to begin injections next week and 3 weeks later, the transfer of 2 donor blasts. I was matched by my clinic in 2 weeks - yes, 2 weeks. I do belong to a very large and reputable clinic in central NJ and I get the feeling they have a pretty decent supply of embryos available.

Anyway, the cost is nominal and in terms of IVF, not even worth mentioning. I hear ya about the drugs. I did 1 and ONLY 1 IVF cycle and paid $4,200 for drugs (Gonal-F alone was $3,500) because given my age (41) and elevated FSH (12.8), the most aggressive protocol was used on me.

FORTUNATELY, the cycle was converted to an IUI (I only matured 2-3 follicles) so I was able to have about 8K returned to me. And I say fortunately because I know the egg retrieval would have yielded zero results. Why do I know this? Because my FSH was just drawn 2 weeks ago and you know what it was? TWENTY-FRIGGEN-TWO. Oh yeah baby, rather NO BABY!

And it was drawn because my clinic came to me with this awesome opportunity to participate in a Phase III trial for a progesterone vaginal ring. Basically, IVF for CHEAP. Including meds, my clinic would do the entire thing (including assisted hatching, ICSI, meds - the WHOLE ENCHILLADA!) for 5K. Well, the pre-screening FSH value kicked me right out of the study.

I see it this way - an excellent sign that I shouldn't toss 5K into the toilet bowl and should pursue Plan B.

My eggs suck (and I am 41) BUT my ability to accept reality is unparalleled. I do NOT live on some delusional cloud of what the outcome would be if I could afford 100 more cycles.

Anyway, I do wish you great luck that this time will be the one (if you're under 40 with an "in range" FSH, ya never know). But I hope you will consider donor embryos. Inexpensive and physically so much easier than a medicated cycle.

Much luck!