Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Po-Po

I did my first two final exams today for community college. And then I had to go to Art Appreciation, to listen to the most annoying professor in the history of the world drone on about god knows what. And I found myself daydreaming in class about drinking whiskey. I'm not a big liquor drinker, being more of a red wine chugger. In fact, I have liquor bottles left over from a party that I gave about 5 years ago still sitting in the cabinet. The only liquor I have from time to time is whiskey, and then usually when I've got a cold and want to make a hot toddy. 

It is not normal for me, but as I've thought a few times over the last few weeks how nice a tot of whiskey would be, I thought I may as well go and buy a bottle and treat myself to a wee dram. See, unlike with wine where one glass makes me want to drink the whole bottle, one glass of whiskey is usually more than enough.  So, especially given the stress of exams and listening to idiots that I've suffered today, I thought I deserved it. So I did it, I bought a bottle on the way back. And I get home at 5pm and fix myself a drink. And scarfed it down. 

Then, as I'm sitting surfing at about 5.30, feeling nicely and somewhat naughtily buzzed, the po-po turn up outside.  And two officers get out of the squad car and start walking to the neighbors house. Where there are two other squad cars and four officers standing around that I hadn't even noticed. We've had a spate of burglaries so I thought maybe their alarm went off, although I didn't hear it so maybe it's a silent alarm. Then all six police officers draw their guns and go off to check out my neighbors house. I start having palpitations about having to explain to them with whiskey sodden breath that I was home but heard nothing. Not to mention the whole thing about OMG there are men with fucking guns drawn at the fucking neighbors house issue. I pictured the reputation I was about to get as the neighborhood drunk when I started jabbering in fright if the police guys asked me any questions.

Luckily, it appeared to be a false alarm. The police checked the place out, the neighbors zoomed home all aflutter, and everything calmed down. And nobody asked me for my opinion on anything.

But isn't that always the way? The one time you treat yourself and do some slightly risque is the one time that you might have to interact with the authorities...

[And I have the results back of one of the exams I did today. The result? Totally aced it...]


Almamay said...

You make me laugh! I know what you mean about getting a strange craving for something you haven't had for ages. I had that two weeks ago when I was at work really wanted a sherry. I bought a bottle on the way home from work and drank it from a sherry glass as I made my pumpkin pies. It felt like pure indulgence.

OF COURSE you aced your exam. You knew you would

bleu said...

CONGRATS on the exam, but it does not surprise me at all.

UGH for the police thing, it DOES always happen that way.

calliope said...

And PHEW. Very glad you didn't have a "my neighbor is a felon" moment.
Hope you poured yourself another dram once the coast was clear!

& woo hoo on the acing of the exam!