No, this post has nothing to do with snickerdoodles. Whatever they are. Just felt like typing it.
So:
I hate blogs with music. Hate them. They immediately cause me to hit the back button. After jumping out of my seat when the music starts, because there's always a delay while the music loads and then it appears out of nowhere. Just saying.
My weight was back down 1.5 lbs today, so clearly yesterday was a high sodium water bloat or poop retention kind of thing. Still, being 1 lb below the threshold for obese is still not exactly reassuring. I am dieting like a fiend.
You know how I got 99% on my first government test and I was kind of miffed that I got half a question wrong. Wait, I did post that, right? And then felt churlish because the rest of the class did really crap? Well, whatever, I did. We just had our second test. 100%, thankyouverymuch. I am da bomb.
Been feeling wistful again about the whole babies/genetic connection/adoption/DE stuff again. I just don't know where my head is at these days. I swing wildly between all possible avenues. Which clearly means that I'm not ready yet to commit to one path or another. Sigh. I wish I could just get with the program - whichever program it ends up being.
6 comments:
CONGRATS on the test Snickerdoodle!!!
Sorry for the swaying emotions.
Oh, boy! I have been debating about writing about the music on blogs. I really like some of the bloggers with music on their blogs, but come on, I read at work! I jump and hit the mute key.
Snickerdoodle are cookies, but you probably don't need to know that with the whole diet thing going on. Sorry your feeling wistful about the baby thing. It's hard to find the right path and know the right road and coming to peace with the whole thing. It's not linear. And, you are de bomb. Congrats on the 100% Deb
I'm with you. I hate the music blogs and refuse to read them.
a. I hate music on blogs too. It usually scares the crap out of me.
b. Not surprised about your high test scores.
c. up until very recently, you felt pretty strongly that a genetic connection was of prime importance. Then, (imho) you seemed to start trying to convince yourself that that might not be true. You saw that a compromise of your earlier position might allow you to be the mother you hoped to be. Of course their is no right answer other than what is right for you - it is a dilemma. But it is agonizing to experience the cognitive dissonance of both wanting and not wanting something.
Of course it is impossible to stop thinking about something entirely, but perhaps you could do something symbolic, like put a date in your B.lackb.erry to resume your decision-making. Maybe that would give you a bit of a break from the pendulum swinging.
Hey, Sarah-
I was just checking out some of your sidebar links and stumbled onto Spark People. I assume that since you have it listed under "good stuff" that you like the site. Can you email me and tell what you like, if you use it, etc.
I am considering joining and I would love your opinion. Sorry to do this in a comment, but I don't have your email! Thanks!
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