The funny thing about trying to lose weight

So, I had this goal before starting college. It is what I think of as my jeans weight. You see, I have not bought a pair of jeans at my current size. I refuse to. I have my large pair of jeans, and I absolutely refuse to go bigger, meaning if I ever want to wear jeans again, I need to lose weight. [Weird how I don't mind buying black or dark brown pants at a bigger size, but there's just something about denim that stops me!] And lately, I've been a good 10-12 lbs over the jeans weight, so there's been no hope of fitting into them. I very nearly got back down to jeans weight with all the juice fasting, but then I started piling on the weight again because I am lame.

The last few weeks, I have been holding fairly steady with the weight. I started trying to tweak little things here and there, hoping that I could start losing weight again slowly. And even with the birthday, sure I ate a bit more than usual, but not crazily, I thought. I was actually feeling proud of myself. So then I cycled to work and school on Monday and Tuesday, and I started thinking - hey, if I go teetotal until Christmas (with a break for Thanksgiving day, of course), AND cycle every day Monday to Friday, I bet I can knock off 10 lbs without having to do anything else. That way, I can at least get back down to jeans weight before starting acu school. Sweet.

However, I decided to weigh myself this morning to start things off. Oh dear. I've piled on another 4 lbs and am back up to within 0.5 lbs of my highest. weight. ever. In fact, I've tipped over into obese again. Damn. Drastic action is now necessary. I therefore joined that weight loss website again, and have started tracking my food.

Now, here's the funny thing. I had exactly the same breakfast as I've been having for weeks (oatmeal). It normally fills me up until lunch with no problems. But as soon as I'd tracked it, and noted that it's only 150 calories, I was starving. Like, as soon as I'd made the mental leap from "eating kinda healthily" to "must diet" I immediately started getting hungry. In other words, dieting sucks.