The squish

I have spent some time lately squishing my belly. It's kind of fun. I was a little bit too sore earlier to investigate what had happened since the therapy but I have been making more and more squishing forays over the last day or two.

Y'see, I used to have this somewhat hard area. It was front and center, below my belly button, and just above my pubes. I figured that maybe it was my uterus. Or sometimes I wondered if it wasn't my bladder, especially when I really needed to pee. It seemed like I'd notice it a lot more during the two week wait after an insemination or an IVF. I only really remember it being there after my laproscopic surgery, and I remembered that my RE had talked about moving my retroverted uterus forward. So, I hoped that my uterus was now in the proper place, and that that's what I could feel. I'd rub it and feel smug that my embryos were settling in for a long wait. I'd talk to my embryos, nay, I'd croon to my embryos. I'd tell them to snuggle in tight. I'd visualize them finding a comfy home in my lovely welcoming uterus. All the while rubbing and hoping. Rubbing and hoping.

Well, it's gone. The old hard area. Gone completely. It's now an entirely squishy belly. Because it was actually scar tissue that the Clear Passages people worked on, and apparently managed to remove. Where once was hardness is now soft squishiness.

Yes, folks, I've been rubbing and crooning to a lumpy old patch of scar. No wonder my poor embryos were confused about what the fuck they should be doing.