Monday, February 23, 2009

I'm so tired of being fat

Sigh. You know how I wrote that I was nearly at the weight goal I set myself before signing up for match you-know-what? Yeah. I'm still at the same weight. I've been doing everything right, stepped up my exercise and am just bouncing around the same weight, give or take a pound. I know it's not a real plateau as it's only been 3 weeks (ish), but really. This is where I get very frustrated, and usually quit my weight loss efforts. I am NOT going to quit this time, because this time I am not starving myself so I am eating in a way that is sustainable for a long time. BUT I am very tired of being overweight. Very tired. I just wish it would go.

And I wish my tongue would de-puff, for goodness sake. We're starting to pay more attention to our tongues at acu school - we have a whole class on tongue diagnosis that we haven't got to yet so I don't know specifics, but I have got into the habit of looking at my tongue every day. I'm just trying to recognize the color because purple means one thing, red another, etc - apparently there is no "pink" in Chinese tongue diagnosis. And of course, ALL tongues look pink to me, so I'm trying to differentiate what the different hues are. Anyway, a puffy tongue, especially with teeth marks on the side, is fairly bad in that it means (I think) dampness, and the teeth marks mean spleen qi deficiency. Both of which are very often involved when you are overweight. So I'm stuck with this puffy tongue that seems too big to fit in the space alloted to it. And it is freakin' annoying me that I am eating well and it is not deflating much. It's gone down a little bit since my very first foray into acupuncture all those years ago, but not enough.

If there's one thing I will say to my IVF-sisters who are just starting out - don't believe anyone when they say that conceiving is the most important thing. Don't let people think you aren't serious about getting pregnant if you are also concerned about gaining weight. If you can handle not diving into a tub of ice cream to drown your sorrows, try to resist! I mean, if you HAVE to have a tub or three of ice cream, be my guest. Whatever it takes, right? Your sanity is more important than your waistline. But if you can keep your sanity and your waistline at the same time - stay strong, ladies, stay strong.

4 comments:

Rachel said...

I'm tired of being fat too. But I'm too tired to do anything about it. Vicious cycle, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Typed in 'tired of being fat' and found your site. I have been on Weight Watchers for a month and a half and down 7 pounds but on a plateau for 2 weeks. I expected a plateau after I dropped 25 pounds but not after 7 and I still need to drop those other 18 (and 10 more after that). It is harder than when I was twenty five. I will have to incorporate exercise or the needle will not be moving any more. Good luck to your needle.
-Kris

paragon2pieces said...

don't give up :) i think it's a huge accomplishment that you have been able to maintain consistent exercise and healthy eating for three weeks given your ultra-busy schedule. patience is a virtue: those pounds will come off over time!

Cindy said...

Ugh. I hear you. I haven't been as serious as you with the eating but I have stepped up the exercise. No pounds loss as far as I can tell. I need to get more serious about it like you.

How are things going in the stress/fatigue department? Are you getting more used to your new schedule?