Driving (myself up the wall, to school, you to boredom...)

I had an acu session yesterday. School has been kicking my butt, and I felt that as part of my new "get super healthy" plan, I may as well get continuing treatment of the thing that I am studying. Ahhh. It was fabulous. I felt like I hadn't relaxed in months like I did on that table. And it fixed the low back pain that has been a constant feature lately. Except that I then drove 40+ miles to school, spent an entire day sitting at desks, and then drove 40+ miles back, so my back pain has now returned with a vengeance. But maybe with repeated treatments, and some herbal medicine, and some weight loss and exercise, maybe it'll go. Cutie acu told me I'll feel better once I finish school. Hmm, yeah, thanks dude.

Anyhoo, cutie acu is going to the school one day a week to take a continuing ed course, and he'll also be teaching there next semester (not my class, unfortunately - we're still way too basic to have him), so he suggested that we carpool. Which is, like, totally awesome, as I can pick his brains while we're driving, and revel in his cuteness and niceness at the same time. And save some gas money.

The new loudmouth girl has disappeared. I guess the one class that she did scared her off. Oh well, easy come, easy go.

In non-school news, I have been brooding again over past fertility-related mistakes. Even stuff such as "WHY didn't I try harder with match.com?" and "WHY didn't I start TTC earlier?" - I'm driving myself slightly cuckoo. I guess it's all coming back up because of starting my new life, and going back to acu, as the last treatment I had was during the last IVF. It is strange how the smallest of things can bring up the old feelings all over again. Although this time I am not brooding on things I did while trying to conceive, it's all stuff before that - why did I waste my whole twenties and 6 years of my thirties? Why, why, why? Why the eff am I still pathetically single? Ugh. I am trying to see this as part of healing - that I'm no longer brooding over TTC, but pre-TTC stuff, so eventually I'll get back to a point in time where I didn't make mistakes and will have nothing left to brood over. Hah, it's probably wishful thinking, I know.