Monday, November 10, 2008

That thing

What? What do you mean there's a big elephant in the room? I don't quite understand what you're getting at.

Oh, wait, you mean that elephant? That giant one where I promised to post about my decision on future motherhood, and then went completely silent and changed the subject? Ah. Yes. That one.

We'll, I'll spill.

I've had time to sit with my decision. To roll it around, play with the idea, think about pros and cons. Think about whether it is really what I want, and whether I'm excited about it. And yes, I am excited. So now I'm ready to reveal all.

...drumroll...

I have decided to adopt from the state.

I do not necessarily want to do foster-adopt, although that is the program I guess I will have to go through. My biggest issue is to be allowed to have a newborn whose parental rights are either already or about to be terminated. Or a safe haven newborn. I don't want to have to deal with heart-wrenching custody hearings and family members trying to get the child back. I don't even know if I can register the criteria that I want, but I am going to find out. If there's no way to do it, then I will rethink, but given that I don't mind waiting, I would rather wait for an infant where I can know that that child will be mine from day one than remain in painful limbo.

My state has a four-step process to be able to do foster-adopt - you have to attend an orientation first, then do a 10-week parenting course, then have the home study, and then you are approved and finally go on the list. I've figured out the orientation I want to attend, and tried calling this morning to book myself a slot, but getting through the crazy phone system was proving difficult so I think I will wait until I am at home tomorrow before spending a bit more energy on it.

I am concerned about the course, as it's usually arranged on Saturdays or on weeknights, and most of mine will be taken up with acu school. So maybe I'll have to drive a long way to find one I can attend, or maybe I'll just have to only go on Saturdays when school is out. Or something. But I can find a way to do it somehow.

And of course I'm concerned that the time I am spending in school/work/commuting will be a detriment. But I think if I can show that I can cut my hours down even further, work from home, and arrange care easily (for example, I am sure my aunt would be able to do all day on Saturdays for me) then I hope it will not be a big issue that I'm going to school. And if it is, well, I'll just have to wait until I've finished school. But I'll never know unless I start going down the road to find out, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get moving on it.

19 comments:

apieceofwood said...

Hi Sarah.. i think it's great you've decided what you want to do and I wish you all the luck in getting there!

paragon2pieces said...

New reader here.... Congratulations! I bet it must feel really great to have come to a decision and set a course. Good luck with finding a course that suits your schedule.

Mermaid said...

I think it is wonderful that you've come to that decision in your heart. Whatever your decision ended up being, it was done with much thought and reflection.

I'm not in your state, but I found an adoption agency in my state that would send their social worker to our house for the classes (not just the homestudy). Taught one-on-one at a time that worked for us. We had to pay a bit more for teh books or whatever. I found that agency through NC Kids organization, which is affiliated with Adopt US Kids, and it is approved by the state. Just thought I'd let you know there might be something near you!

Melissa said...

What a fantastic, superb decision! Thanks for sharing it with all of us!

I think it is a grand idea and I can't wait to see you put it into action!

As for the logistics...that's all they are and they can always be worked out.

Congrats on your decision.

Dora said...

YAY!! It must feel so great to be out of limbo!

jen breese said...

I'm a new reader too. I wanted to say congrats on your decision. I always feel better once I decide something big so you must be thrilled.
best wishes!
Jen

Billy said...

Wow, so happy for you!!
Wish you best of luck in the adoption process.

calliope said...

woo hooo!!! so so so excited about this. I know you put a LOT of energy into making this choice and hearing you say it out loud- well it just sounds so wonderful. It actually gives me a bit of a chill to think about this plan being out in the Universe and set into motion now.
so so so exciting!!
xo

Aimee said...

What a wonderful decision you've made!!! :o) I hope the process is smooth sailing! Good Luck with everything!

Sara said...

That's awesome, Sarah. Good luck with it all! I'll be looking forward to hearing about the process and of course, to sharing your joy with the outcome.

QueenYogi said...

You sound so at peace...I'm happy for you. I can't wait to hear about the process.

orodemniades said...

WOOHOO!! Aw, I'm so excited for you! Have you spoken to Cubbiegirl about her experience?

Stephanie said...

Yipppeee, Sarah!!

I'm glad you wrote about it!

(Even if I *did* have to twist your arm and cut off all your hair!)

LOL

joanie said...

YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!
good luck. i am so excited for you!!!

joanie

Meg said...

Very exciting news! I hope your journey on this path is as smooth and bump free as possible.

Care said...

Very exciting Sarah! I'm looking forward to following this new journey of yours.

gabby said...

What a great decision. I'm so excited for you!!!

Jo said...

It's so great to have a plan in place and then move toward making it happen. A wonderful decision, congratulations.

bleu said...

Just catching up. WOW soooo excited for you. Such a huge decision. Congrats Sarah.