I made an offering to Buddha

Well, so, I think I have finally given up ALL thoughts of trying to conceive as an SMC. If I go forward with this motherhood lark on my own, it'll be through adoption. And it won't be until AFTER I graduate.

But, it doesn't stop me being wistful, I admit. And as I am getting healthy I keep wondering if I wouldn't be capable of conceiving if I was able to devote month after month to doing it the old fashioned way. I mean, I really feel that the information I am learning now, along with the healthy eating (most of the time) and the acupuncture treatments, mean that I am getting healthier than I've been in a long time. I wonder if something has changed inside me enough to allow this to work? Also, I do wonder if I had a low libido for a long time. I mean, I wanted a boyfriend/husband. In an abstract sort of a way. But it wasn't a need. I've always enjoyed sex, and have had relationships where I had a higher libido than my boyfriend of the time. But when I'm single it's not like I have to immediately find someone so I can have sex again. But then, time has dragged on. And on. And freakin' on. And I think part of getting healthy again is that I really really want to have some good sex - which makes me think that something was perhaps not working right that I was fairly content to live without it for so long. I mean, obviously, there was a battery operated friend or two involved, but you know, it's not the same.

So. Did I mention the psychic/astrologer consultation I had a while ago? I forget what I talk about these days. One of my classmates is Asian and has a family astrologer (who turns out to be psychic as well) and she offered to set a couple of us up with phone appointments if we wanted them. For the princely sum of $30. For an hour. I mean - who wouldn't? $30 is nothing in the grand scheme of things. So I did it, and among other things, this guy mentioned that I'd have one marriage chance between the ages of 40 and 45, and that to help my love life I should make an offering to Buddha (I should add that he checked first if I was a Christian - I'm sure he wouldn't have said to offer to Buddha if I wasn't already more aligned with Buddhism than anything else). He said I should offer an orchid, 5 apples and 5 cups of water. And I never did anything.

Last week I was talking with another student, who said she was supposed to make an offering to Buddha too, except she has to offer 9 fruits (any fruits, not just apples but they all have to be the same), 9 flowers (any flowers, not just orchids, but again, all the same type), and 9 cups of water. Hmmm. Interesting how it is different from mine. But it reminded me that I hadn't made my offering. I'd also read my horoscope online lately, which said that the full moon on April 9th was an excellent influence on romance for me. So I decided to combine the two, and make my offering at the full moon.

I should say, that I've no idea how to make an offering to Buddha. But that's never stopped me before. So I set up a little altar, and I put a little statue of Buddha on it that I already had, along with a picture of a Buddha statue that I have. I added Kuan Yin and Jizo as well, just for luck. And some incense, and my orchid and apples that I bought on the way home from school, and water. And I asked Buddha to help me find a nice boyfriend for some good sex, companionship, interesting conversation, a long term relationship - maybe a marriage, and to conceive a baby with if that was at all possible. I have set the intention out there and sent it to the universe. Oh, and I asked Buddha to forgive me if I did the offering wrong!

We shall see.