The weight thing

So, I've been obssessing about the weight thing a lot lately. Hey, why not? At least it stops me obssessing about my ovaries.

You see, during my first year TTC when I was doing IUIs, I gained about 12lbs. I distinctly remember my first RE appointment when I weighed in at 155lbs. I did that first IVF cycle, which was cancelled and converted to IUI, at about 167lbs. For my height, I always thought the top end of normal weight was 156lbs, as that's what the charts used to say, but weight watchers and other charts I've checked recently say it is 160lbs. Whatever, I was less than 10lbs over for that first IVF. I wasn't so surprised when it didn't work, as the previous 8 IUI cycles prior to that hadn't worked either. So I managed to keep my weight in check, and did the second one at 167lbs as well. Well, prior to stimming I was 162lbs, as I'd managed to lose a bit, but I piled it on during stimming. After the negative from that cycle, I completely lost it. I binged on ice cream, booze, pizza, pasta, chocolate, Chinese food and anything else I could get my hands on. I really was thrown by how devastating failing a complete IVF cycle is.

By the time of my third IVF, I was up to 179lbs. Too much weight gain, too quickly. I started having problems with the ultrasound scans - they were fuzzier, and the techs always complained of gas in my bowels, or that they couldn't find my left ovary. I mean, there'd always been a problem finding my left ovary, but it was worse. My egg quality was markedly worse, but that could have been unrelated. I thought the gas in the bowel problem was due to the foods I was eating at the time, so for the next IVF I tried to eat fewer gas-producing foods. I tried to up my protein intake as well.

Well, of course, failing another IVF had me comfort eating again. Even though I managed to lose 5lbs after the cycle, before going to Clear Passage, I couldn't maintain it as the allure of birthday cake, Halloween candy and Thanksgiving food was too much to resist, and went up again. To 184lbs. So even though I was now back to eating slightly healthier, and with more protein, I had more problems with the ultrasounds. More gas in the bowel. This time, the RE couldn't even do the retrieval on my left ovary because it was misplaced. It just wandered off to snuggle up with the fat around my intestines. Apart from the one good embryo, my egg quality sucked again, and I had a very low fertilization rate.

At first, I thought some of the egg quality issues were just age related, but really it had only been a few months. They could have been stimulation protocol related, but I don't think there would have been that much difference. I thought they might be diet related, you know, with the lack of protein, and the higher sugar intake, and there's probably something to that. But I wonder now if it was weight related. Purely derived from the quantity of fat in my gut that was soaking up the meds. Now, I couldn't say for certain that it was due to the quantity of fat, or the fact that I'd gained the weight quickly, but I think there's something in it.

So that's one reason why I've set myself a big goal of being back to under 167lbs for the next IVF. Just to see if being at that weight again will help with the IVF cycles. Not that I will be able to tell much, because I'll be on a different protocol, but the ultrasounds should be easier again, and I hope not to have to give up on an entire ovary just because it is too surrounded by fat to be in the proper place. Preferably I'd like to be under 166, as that takes me down to the 25's as far as BMI is concerned. I definitely want to get under 172, as my new RE has published research on the effects of obesity and IVF*, and used a BMI of greater than 27 as the definition for obesity even though the standard definition is a BMI of greater than 30. But, he's my RE! I don't want him thinking I'm obese! I don't want to think I'm obese either, for that matter. For me, 172=26.9, so that'll put me under that magic 27. That should be easily do-able by the coculture biopsy date. What will be a bit harder is getting under 166 or 167, but I'm determined to give it my best shot.

Today = 173.5, and counting. BMI = 27.2 which I calculated using this handy dandy BMI calculator

*Just in case you were wondering, they didn't find a difference in pregnancy rates with increased weight, but did find a difference in cancellation rates, and in the number of eggs retrieved. Pregnancy rate is of course the most important thing, but given that I have tended to be a poor responder, I think if I could just get one or two more eggs, it might up my chances a little bit more.