Sunday, May 09, 2010

Whoa. Freaky.

So, right, akashic record thing. They said I had to open myself up to other things, especially to learning about areas that are adjunct to or complementary to what I'm learning with Chinese medicine. Maybe other healing modalities, other herbal medicine traditions. Whatever whets my interest. I shouldn't cry off about not having enough time, I should just do it. Go to the seminars or classes or whatever. And broaden my horizons. Not the least because the more things I go to, the more people I will meet, including (I hope) the future Mr. Sarah.

Right. Just do it. Easier said than done to someone who is chronically worried about being time-deprived.

Well, we were leaving the school clinic on Saturday when I got persuaded to go to the home of some fellow students to learn about an energetic healing class one of them is doing. I said no to start with, true to form. But they pushed, they said there would be food, and that it would only be a few hours and besides, I had nothing else planned for Saturday night. So with the "just do it" motto floating around my head, I stepped out of my comfort zone and said yes.

We had a nice dinner, and then sat around discussing this healing thing, and I've got to say, I was a bit skeptical. It involves what basically appear to be mirrors. And some colored threads. And some other things that I couldn't figure out. Yah. Like I said, it wasn't floating my boat any. But the guy that has done the class decided to do a treatment on me to demonstrate. And.

Whoosh is all I can say.

I felt this energy from these darn mirror things. I felt my chakras, especially the ones where I have blockages. I felt fear bubbling up. I felt many things. And then they left me for 10 minutes to relax, and as I was lying there, all these insights came to me. Insights into the whole infertility mess and my mother's death. About how things happen to us that we can't control and plan for. And I felt at peace. It was like these two aspects of my life were mirrors - my mother got ripped away from me, and so did my child. Or, at least, the child I thought I was creating with my carefully planned SMC backup plan. You can't plan. Things happen. Sometimes things happen to teach us a lesson in a fairly brutal fashion. But it was like, here, here is this 30-year period of your life in which you were miserable. Bookended by two miserable events. But for the first time, I came to see them as bookends. A beginning and an end. An open and a close. A start and a finish. And that I can close that chapter of my life, and look on to the next with happiness. Because I don't need to drag the misery around any more.

And then my friends came back in the room, and continued the healing, and we got to a point where my head opened up and I got dizzy from the vastness of space that was inside my head.

Um. Yeah. Whoosh.

Don't worry. My head went back to normal again. I think...


Calliope said...


This stuff is always fascinating. Very interesting things happen when you say yes.

Stephanie said...

This is where you leave behind your upbringing of "just say no"- to drugs, sex, cutting school- and start saying "yes"!!

I guess they should have deprogrammed us when we got finished with school and told us that we can stop saying no now.

I am glad you had such a great experience. And, I hope your head is all better after being all explode-y.

bleu said...

Ahhh I adore you and have missed your writing. I think your classes and experiences are so awesome and I am so thrilled for you that you did this and are on the path. I only wish I was near so I could be your guinea pig.