Monday, April 30, 2007

Fog bound

I feel like today I might be emerging from the fog.

All of a sudden I feel like I might be able to cycle again, and it might be OK, even if I do end up having antibodies to Hepatitis C. The cyst might go down, and I might stim just fine. Of course, July/August is still an awfully long time away but whatever. It is what it is, and no amount of whining and carrying on is going to change that.

I feel like I'm able to think a bit more clearly today, and I feel like I'm no longer going around in circles in the fog, concentrating on the fact that I may have a chronic disease. If I have it, I have to accept that fact and figure out what to do about treatment, if any, I have to do, or what lifestyle changes I have to make. If I don't have it, I will thank my lucky stars.

I do still feel like this postponement has pushed me closer to doing just one last cycle at Big New Clinic, rather than possibly doing two last cycles, so I guess I've ratcheted up the pressure on myself. But I'm going to try to cross each bridge as I come to it, and not make premature decisions. If the cycle fails, that will be the time to decide about another one, not now.

I sent an email to Dr. S. asking him about the Hep C and exactly what this means as far as cycling at Big New Clinic. I also asked for a list of exactly which tests they want me to have run in order to cycle again, and what the plan for the cyst is. I hope he responds and gives me some useful information. If not, at least I tried. I think that's going to be the motto of my life - at least I tried.

ETA: Well, bless his heart, he already responded. Not that I understand exactly what the email says. It talks about "getting cleared" for the Hep C. What's "getting cleared"? Proving that I don't have it, or proving that it's not affecting me?

you need to get cleared for the hepatitis c by the internist they can determine what testing you need to clear you for treatment and pregnancy
After that then we can proceed with IVF
the cyst is not a big deal; we will determine what to do with it once you are cleared
call me after your internist has cleared you and we can determine what to do

good luck

3 comments:

Elowyn said...

The "cleared" thing just means that he wants a letter from your internist stating your final diagnosis wrt the hep C, and that you're OK for ttc/pg given the following meds/lifestyle changes/whatever. Basically it's that the RE is specialized enough he either doesn't feel competent to deal with Hep C (wouldn't be unreasonable) or is CYA-ing. Either way, you should be able to get "clearance" to proceed with TTC once your final labs are back. HTH! Email me if you have questions - happy to help if I can! :)

Anonymous said...

It also means that you are clear to proceed and don't need any treatment for the Hep C. There are treatments for that and you may need to start them. If your doctor determines no treatment is necessary then you are free to ttc. Make an appt with your primary care doc and he/she will let you know the next steps. I would get in asap so that you can get back to ttc quickly.

-Cindy

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I'm glad you're emerging from the fog and starting to feel better/clearer.