Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I hate everyone (except you, of course)

I'm having one of those "I hate everyone" days. Is it just me that has them or is this normal? It's like I'm PMS'ing, but given that I am most definitely not PRE-menstrual, who knows why I'm so irritated? Well, actually, as I was writing that I just remembered that I had a very disturbing dream last night, so I'm probably suffering from lack of sleep which is what's causing the bad mood. It was just a stupid "everyone can see that I'm having my period and more embarrassingly, using a pad, which no-one over the age of 13 should use" type dreams, which somehow evolved into someone going postal and shooting me. Bizarre. Maybe I need to work on some issues there!

But seriously, ignoring the effects of the lack of restful sleep, I hate everyone. My friend K. came back to work (part-time) from maternity leave (yay!), and her and the boss have just had a meeting deciding how the work is going to be portioned out. Which is fine, except they don't feel a need to tell anyone else, so I have to force the boss to tell me so I know what the eff is going on. And, K. is going to be part time, so it just doesn't make sense to have her responsible for everything she was before, because she's just not going to be here every day. I wish they wouldn't concoct these little schemes between themselves because frankly there's not much logic going on between them.

I hate people on fertility message boards that are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't listen to what anyone says, and repeat the same damn questions over and over again. There's one in particular that is about to go on my "ignore" list that was previously reserved for the certifiably insane. Well, maybe she is certifiably insane, I don't know, but I am so tired of her. I wish she would just go to another RE so she doesn't have to keep complaining about how the RE doesn't do what she wants him to. Hello? He's the one with the MD and the years of specialization in this field. And you want to do what you want, based on information you haven't even properly understood from an internet message board?

I hate people that whine and moan for days on end about how their second IUI failed, and how god damned awful it is that it is taking sooo long to get pregnant. I'm sure I did the same when I was a naive newbie, and I hate myself for that, but I wish they would realize that while it IS god damned awful and they have every right to complain, there are others of us out here who have been trying for far longer and who might be ticked off by the fact that there's no recognition going on that it is god damned awful for all of us and that some of us might be feeling worse than they are.

I hate everyone that can start a diet like The Sonoma Diet and drop 10 pounds in 10 days. Seriously, were you living on Big Macs before? Because I'm doing this thing right and the scale is not budging. I am the Queen of healthy eating this week, and nothing is happening. Sigh.

I hate people that don't procrastinate and don't spend far too much of their day surfing. I wish I could concentrate so I could do the work I'm paid for and move on instead of having to work late to finish up.

In other words, I need a vacation, damn it, because I'm clearly stressed to all hell. Deep breath. I can do this. I can get through this crazy pile of files. Somehow. I will recharge my batteries, have my abdomen pulled and prodded and come back a new woman. I hope.

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